May 14, 2004
Follow Your Bliss
No word yet on the job thing, and I have to keep reminding myself that it's like 95% certain. I met with several people yesterday and talked a lot about the same thing with each person. You know how that is. Everyone asks the same questions, and I try to vary the answer a little to keep it lively for myself. If they go so far as to compare answers with each other later, well then it's just the old game of Telephone anyway, isn't it? I probably won't know for sure until next week sometime. That's cool. I have to breathe and be calm. I'm glad that there is enough work to keep me busy during that time; something to divert my mind.
So, I've been listening to Joseph Campbell in conversation with Bill Moyers during my commute. I have six CDs of conversation, each one on a different topic concerning the power of myth. It's an extremely interesting discussion and I'm really at a loss to explain it. Roommate introduced me to this at a time when he thought it would do me good. We listened to the cassettes during one of our road trips, and at that point, the whole topic went right over my head. The metaphors were a little too thick for my cute, little (and thin) mind to comprehend. Over the course of the last decade, I've been introduced to many new ideas and ways of thinking about life, the universe, and everything. And in the last few months, especially, I've needed to become a little more introspective than usual to figure out what's truly best for me. And now, after listening to these CDs a couple of times each, I think I'm headed in the right direction.
Most of my struggle lately has been with my job, my "career path." I never thought I had a career, ever. I've only ever had jobs to pay the bills. I never graduated college, and I've learned all of my varied skills from experience or out of curiosity. This whole site sprang up as an experiment to see if I could learn HTML. And look at it. (Sad, I know.) But it's mine. Same thing with desktop/electronic publishing and electronic regulatory submissions. I never expected to be doing this, but leave it to a temp agency (a really cool one, to boot) to send me off and introduce me to my future. Five years later, I'm fighting the continued success in the bio-pharmaceutical industry because I want to publish books and magazines! I don't give a crap about the FDA and all of its guidances. Whatever. But every time I tried to find something "better" or "more satisfying," I've been led back to work in the pharmas. And thus, I'm thinking that I'm on the path and that this really is my bliss and that I've been too greedy or naive or ignorant to realize it until now.
This is especially eye-opening for me because of the chain of events of the couple of months. I temped at an unpleasant financial services firm and hated it. At the same time, I was offered a short-term contract at a pharma, and I gladly accepted the offer. I started at this company as a contractor whose time was limited, who would leave in August. Then, the person I'd been brought in to assist up and quits (in a whirlwind of high drama, I might add), and his position became available. I was looking for a full-time job, something permanent with benefits, and there it was. It helps that the VP, a totally cool guy whom I've known for five years, is the boss, and he wholeheartedly supported my interest in this job. And while I don't have it yet, I can't help but feel right about this. For the first time in my life, I've felt like I'm in the right place at the right time, and I belong here. I don't want to get too cocky about this, and I don't want to paint this as Utopia, but I also can't chalk it up to coincidence anymore.
And what's more, I'd would even relocate to the peninsula for the job! Can you imagine? That's really not so bad, but I would prefer to live in San Francisco. The trip from SF and Oakland are roughly the same distance, but the rents down in Palo Alto are much more reasonable for what you get. Hell, I'm young. I'll live there someday.
So, sunny weekend, nothing to do but make chocolate chip cookies. Bye!
