January 7, 2004
"My New Life," Take 32
Well, let's see. What kind of fun stuff can I write about today? Oh, I know! A couple of nights ago, as I'm putting everything in its place on my way to count sheep, I checked my e-mail. Big mistake. I mean, it's 10:47 pm on a Sunday night. Who would send me e-mail that couldn't wait until Monday morning? My former boss, that's who.
And in his e-mail, he responded to my demands of payment with his own sob story: blah blah blah. Whatever. So we engaged in yet another e-mail tug o' war, and this time I won! I convinced him that to pay me was the proper thing to do. Course I threw in a bit about destitution and despair, all of which is true, of course, but I just hate to resort to drama to get people to do what they're supposed to do. So on Friday afternoon, I'll have to go to their office to pick up the payment. Then I can finally move on with my life and leave my past behind. I need to leave my behind in the past.
So, in addition to all of that, I had an interview on Tuesday that panned out and a new (temp) job starting next Thursday. I'm so totally excited that I really can start over again. It will only last four months, but it's going to be a good four months. Plus I get to keep my car!!
You know, I may have said this before, but once I start thinking the unthinkable, the unthinkable doesn't seem so bad anymore. I mean, I had almost given up my car to the Repo Man, and I had begun to accept it. In fact, I had begun to search for its replacement...a used car, much less in value, but a choice I probably should have made two years ago. Whatever.
My point is that in the last four months, I've tried so hard to keep my life the way it was that any concession I could make, I saw as defeat. And that's just not so. These "things" are just things that may have a large monetary value, they may have a large sentimental value, but they're replaceable. I'm just sorry that it takes looking at the bottom of the barrel to make me realize it all.
In addition to that, I started to amaze myself how resilient I was and how easy it was for me to think of new ideas, new strategies, brainstorming how to resolve this nasty mess, rather than let it bog me down and get me all sullen and depressed. I was walking home from the interview yesterday and I had half a dozen new ideas pop into my head. It might have been the fresh air and the exercise. It might have been the possibility of a new job and a new chance. I don't know, but I stopped being my own enemy for a while.
I'm not completely over it all..."out of the woods" so to speak. I have a lot to accomplish and a lot to make up for in the next few months, but it's a start, and I'm glad to be starting over.
And there I go getting all "big thoughts" again. So I'll stop.
