September 24, 2003
J'enrage
OK, it's done. I quit. Yesterday. In a screaming tirade against "Boss." But it wasn't exactly what I had intended. He called again, and I figured it was best to just call him back and get it the fuck over with rather than deal with it all week long.
Thirty minutes of mutual insults and rudeness and overall pissy hissy fits later, he asked me again if I could support him and his company. I said, "You want me to answer right now on the phone?" "Yeah." I thought it over for five seconds because after ten he would have to say something clever. So, I took a deep breath and said, "no." And that was it. And now I'm free to "pursue other interests," which I pursued about ten minutes after I got off the phone with him, and now I couldn't be more excited, only I can't say what they are because it hasn't happened yet, and I don't want to jinx it all. You know?
But what really pissed me off during this whole argument, was the fact that he had kept information from me that would have put all his fears to ease like, a year ago. He said that he had somehow intercepted a phone call between me and Roommate during one of our (common) vociferous arguments. "Boss" got really scared and worried for me, thinking that my life was in serious jeopardy living with Roommate. He even asked his posse if he should talk to me about it. And no one ever did. And because no one ever did, he let his fear get out of control to the point that he seriously believed that I had been the victim of foul play at the hands of Roommate. That's when I lost it. That's when I fucking blew my stack and reached into the phone to rip the "boss" a new asshole. Oh, what? You mean you didn't hear me? I was quite clear that I had made it to the stratosphere at least!
I said, "why didn't you tell me that?"
"Oh, now you want to have your cake and eat it, too."
"Huh?"
"You want us to leave you alone, but you want us to tell you all of this. You can't have it both ways."
"NO!! Apples and oranges!! You should have told me about the intercepted call when you intercepted it!! All of this would have been settled then and there and wouldn't have dragged on like this at all! 'Roommate' and I have known each other for over ten years. I know him better than I know myself. Our arguments are commonplace, as awful as it sounds, it's true. I am not afraid of him! He wouldn't hurt me. I don't think he could! And I couldn't hurt him. You see, after a decade of being lovers, friends, and enemies, we have an understanding, an understanding you could never begin to understand yourself. And more importantly, you took one phone call out of context between two people you barely even know and misconstrued it into something out of the mind of Danielle Steel or Sidney Sheldon! So the next time you 'intercept' a phone call like that, you need to fucking tell me about it! I'm so goddamn sick of all of your drama!"
Brilliant.
After that, it was just downhill. I'll turn in my laptop by the end of the week. He'll cough up the dough he owes me for August, and god help us if our paths ever cross again. I didn't intend to lose the relationship over this, because part of me does really like talking to him, even though he's an arrogant, egotistical, megalomaniac. Oh well, I guess some things aren't meant to be.
It's a huge burden off my shoulders, though, you know? I'm really excited about the future now. Leave the past behind. Leave my behind in the past.
