June 11, 2003
And one other thing
Those mirrors in the locker room are really a good thing. I am not depressed or angry at what I see. I am more bewildered at how I could have let this happen. It's hard for me to look, but I do, and I realize that other people probably see me like this as well, and it forces me to make a change. Self-image is important, but how others see us is almost as important. I've spent a lot of time talking myself into believing that what others think of me is irrelevant, but it's not. It's part of my ego, and I can't deny that any longer. A healthy ego is necessary in being a healthy individual, n'est-ce pas? I was so rebellious for so long. It was part of my mantra, "People need to like me for me. And if they don't, they can kiss my ass." Well after all that time in protest, there's enough of my lily white ass to go around, that's for sure.
