Friday Five

It's good that this one's about songs. It should have been easier than it was, but since music is such a huge part of my life, and since I could only choose five songs that I couldn't live without, it wasn't easy at all.

1. Name one song you hate to admit you like.
Celine Dion's version of "I Drove All Night." Go ahead, spam me if you will. I like the Cyndi Lauper version much better, it's more soulful and desperate than Celine's, but I like the new sound, too. Hit me with your best shot.

2. Name two songs that always make you cry.
"Shiver Me Timbers" and "Every Road Leads Back to You" both by Bette Midler.

3. Name three songs that turn you on.
I can honestly say that music does not turn me on or make my hormones rage...if that was the intention of the question.

4. Name four songs that always make you feel good.
Anything by the B-52s will make me feel good, and since that's more than four, I'll leave it at that.

5. Name five songs you couldn't ever do without.
In no particular order:

1. Unpretty—TLC


2. Bushfire—The B-52s


3. Angels Don't Fall in Love—The Bangles


4. Mississippi—Sheryl Crow


5. Caramel—Suzanne Vega


6. Little Earthquakes—Tori Amos


7. Passionate Kisses—Mary Chapin Carpenter


8. Made in England—Elton John


9. So Hard—Pet Shop Boys


10. Who Let in the Rain—Cyndi Lauper


11. Shiver Me Timbers—Bette Midler


12. Made for Lovin' You—Anastacia


13. Trouble Me—10,000 Maniacs


14. Cowboys and Angels—George Michael

I guess that's all. I mean, it's more than five of course, and there are plenty more that I've forgotten for sure. It's hard to share my music with people because it is sometimes a personal endeavour that could leave me exposing too much of myself. And we don't want that now, do we?

Happy Friday.

Was it the gay thing?

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished me to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how I matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Seventh Level of Hell

Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

Please please please?

I so want one of these.

Hmmm...curious.

You are...Miami. You like to dance and you like the
ocean. Nudity and/or stripping is enjoyed by you.
Pervert! One day you'll realize you are
going nowhere in life and slip into a
depression.


Which American city are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

"Wal-Marts like giant florescent-lit viruses."

I have been debating whether to stay in California or move on to nicer, easier, more-affordable places to live. But when I read stuff like this, I remember why I would be so hard put to ever leave California. I know there are vibrant gay communities in other parts of this country, and they probably don't pay $1200 for a one-bedroom apartment, but it's more than the gay thing. As much as I hate it, after thirteen years, I am a Californian, and I don't know if I can leave. Grin and bear it? Ignorance is bliss?

Friday Five

1. What drinking water do you prefer—tap, bottle, purifier, etc.?
Oakland's finest tap water is good enough for me.

2. What are your favorite flavor of chips?
Salt and vinegar.

3. Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most?
French toast or macaroni and cheese. My culinary repertoire leaves so much to be desired.

4. How do you have your eggs?
In their shells, in their cartons, on their shelves, in the supermarket. Can't stand them.

5. Who was the last person who cooked you a meal? How did it turn out?
My roommate, and it was delish. Thank you.

I have been gone for a while. I'm not, even now, in the mood to write anything. My company hasn't paid me in seven weeks, and I'm about to hit the bottom. 'S OK, though. I've hit bottom before, and thanks to my cushy bum, I've bounced right back up. It's just a piece of shit, though, you know? I mean, Dear Claire and Roman have moved into their house in Kent, and they're having an open house on the bank holiday (which is our Memorial Day) next Monday the 26th. She was very kind to invite me over for the party, but I had to decline. After I did so, I thought, "Hey, wouldn't it be smashing if I just hopped on a 747 and showed up at her new doorstep with a bunch of flowers in one hand and my cheese-eatin grin in the other? Wouldn't that be the neatest surprise?" But my on-the-ball employers have gone and fouled that up. I would have loved to take a trip, too. So now, I sit and wait. Fortunately (for someone, I haven't figured out who yet), I can work from home, and that's what I'm doing. I can't even afford to buy gas or cross the bridge.

<snip>

I know, I know, I've complained about this time and again. The thing is, if this company really does take off, and I have a feeling that it will eventually, we could all be a little better off than we are now. That's what I'm counting on. I left the pharma with a $40,000 severance package to come work for these people. I believed in their vision, and I had faith in their abilities. Now that belief and faith are in serious question. It would be just like me to abandon ship while the goddamn thing was still intact. Anyway, I'm being greedy about this, I know. I want the rewards for staying from the beginning. I want the payback. It's very difficult now, and I'm the kind of person who likes to bitch and moan and be vocal about my feelings. OK? Seems that I'm in the minority on that one, too. Oh well.

Happy Friday. Have a good weekend.

Ahem...um...er...

OK, OK, so after I posted this tirade, I sent off an e-mail to Those Who Must Be Obeyed informing them that I would be working from home, and less than a half-hour later, Boss writes back to say that by some miracle, our checks are ready and waiting for us. So I high-tailed it in to pick it up and deliver it to my bank before closing. So, while I could say "false alarm," or "what a relief," or anything else, I won't. And the noive...he taunted me with a sale at Payless with Starr Jones giving autographs. Oh, now, you know I was there! Kidding, darlings, kidding.

Costco Shop

Oh what fun it is to spend a new paycheck on a Costco shop. I especially enjoy going on Saturdays when all the men are out with their men friends. I had one guy cruise me while he was trying to devour a California roll as big as a tennis ball. Ick, sweetie, ick. And not attractive, either. It's even more exciting when distinguished, older (male) couples escort their adorable schnauzers through the meat aisle. Oh yes it is!

So, it's Saturday. Tonight I do my laundry. Whoo hoo! In between then and now, I am at a loss as to what to do with myself. It's a bright, sunny May day in Northern California. The city is preparing itself for the annual Bay to Breakers marathon that is taking place tomorrow. I think that would be exciting to see at least once. It's a fun-filled day of people running from one end of San Francisco to another, most in outrageous costumes and some in their birthday suits. Last year it was cold and wet. I hope tomorrow is a better day for the people going au naturel. It's not easy being nekkid when it's cold and foggy out.

Oh what am I talking about? Have a good Saturday.

Sexy Saturday—The Virgin Queen

At what age did you lose your virginity?
I was fifteen. It was the summer of my sixteenth birthday. It was about a month before my birthday, right after school let out for the summer. It was divine. Remind me to tell you about it sometime.

Do you think virginity is overrated?
Virginity is definitely overrated. In this day and age, I think it's very healthy to explore one's sexuality, and if that means intercourse with someone who might or might not become your spouse, then go for it. Just play safe, please.

Was sex what you expected it to be, or were you (un)pleasantly surprised?
Sex has continued to surprise me. At first, I thought it was no big deal. I mean, when I was in the middle of my first time, I had a doberman pinscher come up and lick my face. I was all, "huh?" It kinda put things on hold, so to speak. After that first time, I slowly began to realize the power and potential that sex held for me. It's different for everyone. But let's face it, folks, the only way we got here is through sex. Sex is human, it's animal, it's dirty, it's fucking awesome. We are sexual creatures. We need to have sex more, and stop demoralizing people for the sex that they choose to have. It's all about what makes you feel good.

Would you have liked to wait longer to have sex?
I wish I could have had sex with my best friend's father when I was seven. He had gorgeous, hairy, hunky, man legs. Does that answer your question?

Have I Never Been Mellow

Let's just start out this bright and sunny Sunday morning with the fantastic news that I have tickets to see Olivia Newton-John at the Davies Symphony Hall in San Francisco in August!! Can we say, "Fuck, yeah!" She is my all-time favorite singer. My very first 12" record album was Have You Never Been Mellow, and I listened to it on my very first record player, a red Fisher Price record player. This was 1975. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm so excited. This is truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience for me. I have never seen her live before, and now I will. You really have no idea how excited I am. Really, you don't. OH MY GOD! I so love her! Excuse me while I get up and dance around a bit...

Ye Olde Donute Shoppe

Roommate made homemade doughnuts today. While, overall, they were not your Happy Donuts or Dunkin Donuts rivals, they were tasty, and when filled with homemade butter cream and dusted with powdered sugar, they were might filling. Let's call this Fun with Food.

I spent the afternoon singing my favorite ONJ songs (I promise today will be the end until I feel like it) and drinking my Anchor Steam in anticipation for the beer bust. It's also fun to spend a paycheck at a beer bust, don't you think?

It's too bad that I can't fit into any of my jeans. I don't know if it's the beer, the doughnuts, or the plain slothfulness that I have allowed in my life. I must do something to change that. It's not easy wearing jeans, and it should be, dammit.

So I think I'll find myself a nice aerobics class at the Y to get me started. I used to have a routine, you know, back in the Rancho Relaxo (RR) days. I would burn off 600+ calories in the A.M., and then snack on baby carrots and lettuce all day, eating a nice grilled fish for dinner. Well, since I fled RR, I haven't had the control that I need to maintain a svelte and attractive figure. I know, I know, I should be happy with who I am, but I have about half-a-dozen pairs of jeans that I've never really worn, and are therefore new, and I don't want to have to get rid of them just to buy a larger size. That's not efficient or economical, now, is it? So if I can get some loud woman with a headset microphone and training bra to whip my fat ass into shape, I'm sure I'll be all the better for it.

And did you know that "ye" used to mean "the" and was pronounced "yuh"? In the olde days, printers used it as a shortcut to "the" in order to save letters in their type cases. I shoulda been a linguist.

Water Under the Bridge

I found this clever quiz at DataAngel's site. Thanks to her and wherever she got it from. These are all real songs, too.

Pick a band and answer only using that band's song titles:
It seems appropriate considering Sunday's great news: Olivia Newton-John

1. Are you male or female?
Compassionate Man

2. Describe yourself:
Physical, Queen of the Publication (totally apt, I must say), Hopelessly Devoted to You, Warm and Tender

3. How do some people feel about you?
I Never Did Sing You a Love Song, Culture Shock, Just a Lot of Folk

4. How do you feel about yourself?
Heart Attack, Landslide, Tied Up, Deeper Than a River, Goodbye Again, Living in Desperate Times, Never Enough

5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest:
Sam, Soul Kiss, Twist of Fate, You're the One That I Want, Air That I Breathe, Big and Strong, Clearly Love, Magic

6. Where would you rather be?
Suspended in Time

7. Describe what you want to be:
I Want to Be Wanted

8. Describe how you live:
Something Better to Do, Not Gonna Be the One, Don't Stop Believin', Free the People, Can't We Talk It Over in Bed, Please Don't Keep Me Waiting, It's Not Heaven

9. Describe how you love:
Slow Down Jackson; Walk Through Fire; You Were Great, How Was I; Please, Mr. Please; Overnight Observation; Make a Move on Me, Totally Hot, The Best of Me

10. Share a few words of wisdom:
If You Love Me Let Me Know, Toughen Up, Love and Let Live, Trust Yourself

Bye, bye, Buffy

All gone. No more. It was a cool way to end the show. Sad episode for a lots of reasons. But I won't spoil anything here. Oh, Buffy, whatever will my Tuesday nights be without you? Even "Smallville" is moving to Wednesday nights. *sigh*

Coming to a Parking Lot Near You

The Inflatable Church. What do you say to something like this? It could go either way, frankly.

Long Weekend

Let's see. Yesterday, I had my final haircut at Teddy's Excellent Haircuts in Glen Park. No, I'm not growing my hair long. Although, when I did, I loved it. (Sorry for the picture quality.) I always enjoyed riding my bike in the summer and feeling the wind blow through my hair. OK, no Teddy is moving to Palm Springs, and therefore will no longer be cutting my hair. My loss, for sure. Finding a barber / hairstylist is one of my least favorite activities. You know, it's hard, sometimes. I just can't put my hair in the hands of any stranger. I'm very hesitant, squirmy, you know, about doing so. I know it's only hair and that it will grow back. Call it silly, if you will. At least I have about a month before I need to worry about it.

After that, I read a fascinating book on oral sex. Yes, that's right. Going Down: Instinct's Guide to Going Down. Nothing I didn't really know before. Just thought I'd check.

Today, I'm headed out for drinks again, but not until much later. Last weekend (I don't remember saying this), I got really messy, and I was totally hung the following Monday morning. Well, since it's a holiday and all, I figured that it would be OK, or more tolerable, if I were messy tonight. And so it shall be. I hope they play good music tonight, and I hope I can get a seat on the benches. It's too bad they don't have cocktail waiters in that place. I always lose my seat when I need a refresher.

I absolutely must see The Matrix: Reloaded and X-Men 2 tomorrow. So I will go to Fandango to secure tickets for moi and moi alone. I love going to movies by myself. I'll never forget, I went to see Sleeping with the Enemy by myself because at that point people couldn't endure Julia Roberts like they can today [sic]. While I was waiting for the movie to start, I heard a voice, a young, blonde voice, say "I feel so sorry for the people who have to go to movies by themselves." She was referring to me, natch, as I was sitting right in front of her and her cute, not-yet-gay boyfriend, within earshot, etc. You know the whole juvenile I'm-so-much-better-than-you thing. Whatever. Where am I going with this? Oh, movies alone. It's the best. No need to worry about your date's movie preferences. Can eat all the popcorn you want. No need to share popcorn, Dots, or soda with date who doesn't share back. Can sit all the way in the top row of seats. Can get there as early as you need to get the best seat. Need I go on? But then again, I have been classified as a loner. And that suits me just fine, thank you.

I took this test again, and it turns out that I'm worse than what I was before. Now I'm:

One must have goals.

I'll be your Rock, if you'll be my Doris

Two movies down, and I regret that I don't see more of them. It takes a movie to remind me of how much fun they are. So I saw The Matrix: Reloaded and it was awesome. A little too much talk here and there, but it was super cool. You go, Ms. Jada. I especially enjoyed the freeway scene in Oakland / Alameda. I remember them filming it here and missing the opportunity to watch them film it.

And then, due to time restrictions, I wasn't able to see X-Men 2, so I saw Down With Love instead. Talk about Pillow Talk (which I always love) for the 21st century, though it was set at the same time as P.T. They even made an allusion to P.T., the title of this entry. It was camp and cute. David Hyde Pierce is so adorable. And Ewan McGregor is just sweet. And not like the "aw, shucks" kind of sweet, either. I mean, sweet enough to eat. The only thing about that movie that bothered me was the woman sitting next to me who removed her shoes during the film. Halfway through I smelled something sour, and sure enough it was her bare feet propped up on the back of the chair in front of her. Ick, honey.

This or That?

1. Do you prefer silence or do you like background sound (music, TV, etc)?
Most of the time, I can get along in silence just fine. Sometimes, though, I remember that I have access to the Internet's vast array of web-broadcasted radio stations and the like, and then I hop on. I wish I could have a satellite radio like XM Radio or Sirius. Since I rarely watch television anymore, it's rarely ever on. Go figure.

2. Bathe/shower in morning or evening?
Shower every morning. I suffer badly from bed head.

3. Sleeping in complete darkness, or with a nightlight on?
Pitch black.

4. Lay out clothes the night before, or just grab what's closest in the morning?
Laid out the night before. It's not that I'm anal...just lacking time in the morning.

5. Hang up/fold clothes neatly, or just toss them wherever?
I toss them until they pile up, then I sort and fold or wash.

6. Work out at a gym, or at home on your own (or do you not bother with exercise)?
Ha ha ha ha ha.

7. Talk on the phone, or via IM/e-mail?
I'm sure I've said this before, but I really can't stand the phone. It can be such an interruption sometimes. I much prefer e-mail or IM.

8. Are you usually on time, or late?
I am habitually early, sometimes by tens of minutes. I don't know why. It must have to do with a fear of missing out on something important.

9. Spendthrift or frugal?
Nowadays, frugal and hating it.

10. Thought-Provoking Question of the Week: You work with someone who is not in the habit of bathing regularly. The smell seems to be getting worse and worse! Would you: 1. try to do something about it, or 2. try to grin and bear it? If you said 1, what would you do?
Since I'm in California, where it seems to never be acceptable to criticize anyone for being who they are and how they live their life (and lucky for me it's that way), I would have to choose number 2: grin and bear it. I have a heightened sense of smell, but I can usually tune out what is offensive. If not, I'll dig in my lunch bag, peel an orange, and rub the zest under my nose to prevent the offensive odors from intruding. How's that?

Just a thought

"Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time." —Tallulah Bankhead

Make of that as you will.

Have a nice weekend.

More Lessons

I thought I didn't have much to say today, but I was wrong, or else I'm just so bored that I have to do something.

This morning started out waiting in lines: at the DMV, the post office, and then the bank. It all could have been much worse than it was, but it was still an exercise in patience for me. I'm not good with government offices and such like that where the employees, knowing that you have to be there, take their own time in helping you. Frankly, it's really not that big of a deal. Maybe I'm just fishing for something to talk about.

Another lesson I learned: in the state of California (which requires every registered automobile to be covered by an active insurance policy), you must submit proof of your automobile insurance with your registration materials every year. However, your insurance policy cannot expire within thirty (30) days of the renewal of your vehicle registration, otherwise the DMV will request more proof of insurance. I did not know this. In the past, all I had to do was send my check with the copy of my proof of insurance, and the results of my smog check, and a month or so later, I'd get the new sticker to put on my car. This year is new for me because I bought my car and started a new policy in the same month. So when I sent in my registration, they cashed my check and sent me a letter saying that I needed better proof of insurance. I had to wait to receive the renewal statement from my insurance company before I could finish the registration process. The renewal statement came in the mail on the 28th, just four days before the vehicle registration expired. It appears that for the remainder of this lease, I will have to visit the DMV in person to register my vehicle in order that I not be late with registering my vehicle. This may seem really anal, especially considering the number of vehicles on the road that have expired tags. I used to be terrified of being pulled over for expired tags, and in Monterey County, you probably would be. But in the Bay Area, the law enforcement officials must have lots of other, more important things to do because they don't even pull you over for speeding. I suspect that if they did catch you for going over the limit or running a red light and your tags were expired, they would tack that on to the list of charges. OK, maybe I am anal.

The post office and the bank were typical Friday things to do. I'm used to all of that mess.

And then when I got to work today, there were only two other people there. Everyone else was working offsite, which was such a blessing. I had a pretty gnarly headache this morning, so I was not looking forward to having to be nice to people. It sucks when I have to try to be nice to someone, you know? But never mind, because those people were, thankfully, absent. The sun came out. I had a great sandwich for lunch. I'm looking forward to the weekend. I have tentative plans to go on another walking tour of San Francisco, armed with the camera for whatever comes my way. I hope I'll have something to show for it afterward.

I guess that's all now.