2003

Don't really have anything to say. I'm just posting here just to have one on the first of the year. No introspection here. I wasn't very hungover this morning, thankfully. Got home around four and slept past noon. Had a good time.

That's all.

Lazy Weekend

Well, it's a new year, and I've got new ideas running around in my head. H suggested to me the other day that I keep this loft thing in Oakland while he moves on to other venues north, south, or east. At first I thought he was kidding, but he wasn't. And after thinking about it for a couple of days, I'm beginning to think it's not a bad idea either. It's a huge space for a very reasonable rent. I couldn't dream of finding this much space in San Francisco at the price we're paying here. I can certainly afford it by myself. So, I've set out to rebuild the place in my image, and in doing so, I've spent upwards of $8,000 in new furniture and entertainment gadgets. Not real money, mind you. I was "window shopping" on the web (what do you call that? web browsing shopping? that sounds silly).

I'm beginning to warm up to the idea of living here by myself. Although there seems to be a high turnover of tenants here. The couples on both sides of us moved out within a week of each other. I wonder if it's something I said? Hee hee. No really, I can't hear through these walls. I'd could finally move my car off the street and into a gated parking lot. I would have a ton of space for everything I own, which means no more storage. Oh, and the storage thing. I went out there yesterday thinking that I would be so set to tear it apart and weed through it all. How naïve of me. No, not naïve, knave. I opened the door and there it all was, piled at least six feet high, awaiting my return. I almost broke down in tears at all the crap that I've been hanging onto for what, six years? Oh I feel like a fool.

I think that's all. I fixed up my other Mac with the scanner and I'm about to start a new project of converting my old magazines into PDF files so I can recycle all of that paper. It just doesn't store well. How fun, you say. I know. I know. But I must do something mind-numbing because tomorrow I must return to our office to start work for them again, so I owe it to myself to do work that will relax my mind in order to prepare for tomorrow.

OK, bye.

A spot of summer in January

I thought I would share a warm spot of summer in January. As my thermometer reads now, it's 53 °F (about 12 °C) outside. And I just feasted on thick, juicy fried tomatoes with pesto and feta cheese and red wine. It was scrumptious.

That's all.

It must be bunnies

I just watched the musical episode of Buffy, "Once More, With Feeling," and I'm sorry I waited so long. That was so totally cool!! But you do kinda have to like musicals to appreciate it. It was way cool.

Monday

I made it back to work today after what, ten days off? I had a "minor" emotional breakdown in the parking lot (safely in my car with the windows closed) about money again, I dried my eyes, did a little flip of my hair, fixed my outfit, and then sauntered in just in time for lunch. I have been away from these people for so long that I feel like an outsider, like I don't belong here. There are three guys here working on the software (one of whom is just my type but so obviously married with children, only he's so cute!!) who everyone else has gotten to know and kind of envelope in our bizarre working family, who I don't know a lick about because I've been in the gulag working and slaving away. That's the only way I can think about it. I know it's all drama, but I can't help it. It's going to be an interesting change for me. Oh, but the best part is that I get to keep the laptop from our client. They agreed to sell it to us, and it will become mine to use for work. That is so cool!! So I ran to ebay and bought a docking station for $35!! I guess that's cool. Otherwise, it's just Monday.

Dark Lady

I had the most enchanting dream about Cher last night. It was superb. I was working with Chastity, and she was house-sitting for Cher. Chastity invited me back to her mom's house in Malibu to spend the night while we worked. I gladly accepted. I was asleep on the couch when Cher walked in. I was afraid to look at her, so I hid under the covers. I woke up a few hours later to hear Cher and Chastity talking about Cher's trip to the airport later that morning. Cher didn't want to take a limo, so Chastity offered that I drive her in my car. She thought that was a great idea. When I woke up, I was introduced to her, and she was very, very kind. Then I took her to the airport. I apologized for my small, old car, and she smiled and said that it was just like the one that she and Sonny had before they had their TV show. I started crying. I woke up to a phone call from work, which completely spoiled the emotion of the dream, but it was still superb. I love it when I have good dreams.

I'm working at the South City office now, and it's great. I enjoy being part of the process, in addition to resuming an enjoyable commute. I forgot how close I am to this place. It's only about 16 miles away. That is so nice because I can't really afford the gas right now.

That's all, bye,

Civic Duty

I feel good about this:

So it's raining out. The streets are slowly filling with water because the sewer drains are filled with lots of stuff they shouldn't be filled with. I spy a small, tiny little convertible, an MR-2 I think, which is about to be inundated with the rising water level. I spy also a cardboard box that had blocked one of the sewer drains near the car. I walk over, remove the box, and stand by to watch as the water pours down the drain where it belongs, freeing the car from a messy, smelly demise.

And then I go home.

And that's all.

Is it possible...

...to overdose on garlic? If so, you'll have to come back another night, Lestat. Just kidding, because we all know that Lestat would probably eat his share of garlic if he were allowed to eat food. Darlings, I'm a little drunk tonight. I'm participating in my favorite Friday night ritual, red wine and red meat, with a little garlic and olive oil on the side. On one hand, my heart is saying thank you (for the red wine and garlic), and on the other it's saying fuck you (for the red meat and the butter and the oil). Moderation? What is this moderation you speak of? I know of it not. All I do know is that aspirin and water are in my future tonight, and the YMCA and the pool in my future tomorrow. Have a great weekend, everyone!!

My New Slogan

Thanks to Melanie for the Advertising Slogan Generator:

If You Want To Get Ahead, Get A Michael.

How complètement à propos!!

And then there's one to satiate my ego for a while (albeit with a bit of denial involved):

More Glittering Enchantment Please.

But this one takes the cake...it even fucking rhymes!!!

You'll Wonder Where the Yellow Went, When You Brush Your Teeth with Glittering Enchantment.

I've got to stop this!!

I Wish They All Could Be Glittering Enchantment Girls.

God Bless Eydie Gorme

and red wine. The internet is a dangerous place in the hands of a drunk man.

Jack & Karen

I must say that I have become a convert to Will & Grace. And I don't think it's the fermented grape juice talking. I always hated to watch that show because I thought it was pandering to a gay-friendly audience, But after watching enough episodes, I'm wondering how I could have lived without it!

News Flash!!

I am:

Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz

Like you probably couldn't have guessed that.

It's 1:37 AM PST, and I'm tanked on wine. Safeway shouldn't be open 24 hours. J and I hiked our asses up to the store to buy some more because we drank all the stuff we had. So there. And now I'm terrified of sleep because I just know I'll be hung in the morning. Bah, fuck it all. Cheers!!!

I swear I thought I would end up being Gonzo

	You are Rowlf! You don't draw attention to yourself much, preferring to keep your cool and stay in the background.
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

Five years

Sometime this month, I will greet the fifth anniversary of moving to the Bay Area. I don't remember exactly when it was. It could have been yesterday, it might be tomorrow. I can't remember. In any case, five years flew by. And that means that this year, next month I think, will make thirteen years of living in California. That's longer than any other place. I wonder if I shouldn't think about moving somewhere else. I didn't intend to live here forever anyway. But where should I go?

Brian, Robert, Steve, et al

Brian, Robert, Steve, et al

OK, so I'm swimming at the Y last night. I was interrupted by a lady who wanted to share my lane with me. I looked up at her, and I recognized her from somewhere else. It's not often that I recognize someone that I've seen, been with, worked with/for in San Francisco. It's a small city, but it's still big enough not to have to know people. Anyway, she recognized me first. "Have we met? Didn't we work at 'Hell, Inc.' together? The Mayor's Summit on Women? You're Robert, right?" "Uh, no. My name is Michael, but I have fond memories of 'Hell, Inc.'" "Oh, right. I'm Sasha." So small talk aside, I started wondering why people confuse me with a Brian or a Robert or a Steve. Do I look like my name should be one of those? Why not a David or a Paul or a Max? That has always puzzled me. But I'm afraid that I have to learn a better way to correct the ignorant soul. Putting my hand on my hip and saying, "What did you call me?" doesn't work very well, and it's definitely not the diplomat's choice.

So, back to swimming. I just love to swim. I don't do it for the aerobic aspect anymore, even though that's a by-product. I love being in the water (I'm a Cancer through and through), and I love floating around. Of course, I can't float in the lap lanes, so I have to do my strokes, but it's so free. I can daydream and plot and scheme and just relax. It's awfully nice.

And then, first thing this morning, P asks me if I know what I want to do in the future of this company. What what what? Have they been reading this? Fear of that. So I says, "I hadn't really thought about it. What do you have to offer?" So we're supposed to talk about it later. I really don't know what to say. I mean, I have only been back working with them for about a week now, and I'm not happy about it. I don't know if it's the one-room office that holds seven people and seven conversations or if it's D and her never-satiated ego. Ugh. And just last night I was thinking of different places to go and different things to do with my life, other than this. I don't want to be in customer service again. I did that for five years and I hated it then. It would be a step backward for me. But that's the only post they seem to have found for me at this moment. I could really see myself being an admin or an office manager when the company grows up a little. But they don't want me to be an admin. They want me to be something bigger, better! A star, baby! They said I could be a star!! Whatever. We'll see what they come up with.

That's all,

I love technology

40,000 feet over Atlantic and you've got mail

One of these days, the whole world will be wireless, and as the days go by, I'm more and more sure that I'll be alive to see it all! I can't wait. We have a wireless network connection in our office, and it is so cool to be able to sit anywhere in the (one) room and connect with T1 speeds through a wireless card in our laptops! It's one of those things that almost defies explanation. I just love it. Now we need laptops with 12-hour batteries or that don't need to be plugged in at all.

Coochie coochie coochie

Coochie coochie coochie

Charo was 52 years old yesterday. Feliz cumpleaños!

Not much

Not a lot going on today. It's Friday. I'm not looking forward to this weekend cooped up with You Know Who in a project I promised I would help with. Work is work. We're moving upstairs to a bigger office space, and I've been put in charge of the logistics of it all. So I call up AT&T and put in a change order for our service and they quote me fifteen business days before they can move the wires from one switch to another. OK. That's a long time. But they're being conservative, right? So, P is not happy with that. "I'm going back to PacBell if I can't get what I want." So that's how it is? Just stomp around and throw a tantrum if you don't get what you want. You're a small, very underfunded company who has the potential to be something big in your little pond, but you're going around acting as if you can just throw your weight around to get what you want. I mean, really. You can't fight everyone just because you have to wait. I don't know, am I wrong here? Am I being too much of a push over, spineless and cowardly because I play by the rules? Whatever. There is an Indian proverb (and correct me if I'm wrong) that says something like "Life is a circle that rolls on. If the good times pass, so will the bad," or something like that. I wish I could find the real saying. It makes sense to me. It will become my new mantra.

And then...

There's a teleconference with a major major software company in San Jose who could possibly provide us with huge support in the future. I'm talking huge. The call was scheduled for 1:00 PM this afternoon, and D, although she was the one who helped arrange the call itself, saunters in at quarter after all "Hi, guys. What's going on?" I'm all, "Hello, bitch. This is the future of your business and you're just now getting here? I don't give a red fuck about your private problems, you should see mine, but I'm here before 10:00 AM every day, and I stay here until after 6:00 PM every night, and just because you're a vice president and co-founder, you can do as you fucking please?" Fucking, puh-lease. It would almost be worth it for her to lose this company. And yes, in a word, I'm better than you.

I don't do Windows

I hate Windows. I know I've said that before. I just hate it. I spent all day today fixing a friend's computer only to have to use the stupid restore CD that came with it in order to fix the problem. I can't stand that. I mean, first of all, there was a driver that became corrupted that fucked up the video resolution so that it would only stay at 640 x 480 at 16 colors. Ick. Who can look at that? Then, after I installed the BIOS update that Compaq tech support told me would fix the problem, I had to bomb the hard drive and start over from scratch. There was no other way around it. It's working fine now, but I have to re-install everything...all the applications and their respective updates and everything. And then I tried to upgrade the RAM to 512 MB with a few RAM chips I had lying around, and the system wouldn't recognize more than 256 MB! What is it with computer manufacturers who insist on putting limits on the hardware they sell? This computer was made in 2001, so don't fucking sit there and tell me that you couldn't have figured out that one day we would be using 512 MB or greater RAM cards. I will never personally choose to buy a PC with Windows installed on it. I simply refuse. I am forced to use Schmindoze at work, and while it works most of the time, it's still a pain in my big white ass.

I am a Mac person. I love Apple and OS X. In fact, in the five months that I've had OS X on my grape iMac, the system has never once crashed on me. I have never been forced to reboot the computer because of the OS or any of the software. Sure, apps crash from time to time, but the OS is rock solid and doesn't fuck up. I wish the world would fucking pick up on that!!

I guess that's all. I think I'm getting another cold. I'm stuffy and sneezy again. What is it with that? It's either all the dust at our office or it's lack of something in my diet. Now what could that be? Vitamins? Hmmm, could be.

The End of the World is Nigh

This creeps the fuck out of me. I am really scared of the what these people could do if properly motivated and mobilized. I need to get out of here, quick.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho

Work, work, work. I'm not doing much today except taking measurements for the new office. We're measuring every single wall to fit our furniture properly. This space is really big. I'm getting excited about moving now. It's two weeks away, though. I wish we could move now.

That's all. Homemade chicken soup for dindin. It's always so good. Lots of onions and garlic.

I got all caught up in my Sex and the City marathon. I'm finishing up the third season now. I always get a little jealous of those girls. I know they're characters. I know they don't really live those lives, but I wish I did anyway. It's such an escape from my own life. Maybe that's all it should be. I still need to visit New York to see what I am missing.

The third season of Buffy is out on DVD now. Can't wait for payday. Love that. I really do. Angel can bite me whenever he wants, even though he's good now.

That's all.

Be careful what you wish

Be careful what you wish for

Girl, there was trouble at Oyster Point this morning. Clash of the Vixens sans the hair-pulling and face-clawing. Management have disagreed on how their development plan should be structured and carried out, and the girls didn't want to agree to disagree. So *whoosh* as soon as I walked in, one walked out. Then the prez called, and he yelled, honey, he yelled at Wanda Sue! I was all, oh no you dint. It was tense. We were all uncomfortable. The rest of us had to hide in the server room until the phone call was over, hoping that there would be someone left at the end of it all. I still don't know what happened with it all. It's scary, though. What's going to happen?

Conservative withdraws from White House AIDS panel

Further proof that the people running this country are a bunch of ignorant fuckups. The fact that this creep was even nominated for this position is disgusting.

Rumsfeld's 'old Europe' comment provokes angry rebuttals in France and Germany

Did I say ignorant fuckups? I meant to say arrogant, ignorant fuckups.

I still find it so hard to believe that the people of the United States wanted these assholes in our government. I know that the Supreme Court chose Shrub as our fearless leader, don't tell me that, but if my fellow citizens hadn't voted for Shrub in the first place, we never would have needed the Supreme Court to choose our president. I certainly hope those citizens are fucking paying attention to this farce. I'm embarrassed. I am just about ready to renounce my citizenship and move to Canada. Fuck fuck fuck. And by the way, the Republican assholes in charge of my country DO NOT speak for me.

Photo Essay

I set out on a journey today. I had nothing to do, and nowhere to go, so I thought I would take my digital camera with me and head for the City. I thought it would be interesting to catalogue all of the places I visited, but then I thought that it would be too much work to snap every time I turned a corner, and since I've never really learned how to be a journalist, I ended up taking a dozen or so shots, and ending in the middle of the day.

I started out from my place, BARTing into the City, and walking from Embarcadero all the way through the Financial District, Union Square and then out to the Marina via the F-Line. I was planning to do all of this on foot, but I needed a little break in between neighborhoods. Note to anyone who hasn't visited San Francisco: if you do, bring good walking shoes or lots of cab fare; the hills are treacherous. By the time I made it to the Marina, my feet were killing me, and I had good shoes on.

It didn't help matters that my bag was overstuffed. I always pack too much stuff. I just hate the thought of being without something no matter where I go, so I pack for all alternatives. It's silly. I should know better by now. You should see when I leave the country altogether. The last time I went to England, the lady at the BA counter said that I was lucky to be flying in business class, otherwise they might not have let me bring as much as I brought. No not really, but once I got to London, I realized how silly half of my stuff was. Whatever.

I walked up Beach from the Wharf, through Fort Mason, and ended up at the Marina, plopping my ass on a bench, and watching the sailboats and the couples saunter by. It was kind of obnoxious watching all of these pairs holding hands, whispering to each other in voices low enough that only they could hear, walking their dog or their kid. I began to wonder if it really was human instinct to find a mate. And if it is, why has my instinct been suppressed for so long? And don't go there with the gay thing. I saw plenty of gay and lesbian couples today. One lesbian I mistook for a cute, young guy. I was tired, the sun was in my eyes, and sea spray covered my Wayfarers, so give me a break. Oh, and another note to the weary traveler: dress in layers; the weather in San Francisco will turn on you in a sec, and Mother Nature doesn't care if you're in shorts or not. I'm glad it didn't rain. It was a beautiful, sunny January day in the City.

Then, after about three hours on the bench, learning Bulgarian (ucxa bwlgarski), I headed back. I walked up to Van Ness, caught the 49 up to Clay Street and waited for the 1. I thought I would take the 1 back to Embarcadero where I started from. I waited for about fifteen minutes and decided to start walking back. I walked from Van Ness, via Clay Street, to Embarcadero, up the hill, down the hill, through Chinatown, and ending at the Ferry Building. And during that 30–45-minute walk, there was no 1. Whatever.

And then I went to the Y to soak my weary body in the hot tub. And then I went home.

The End.

Maybe tomorrow I will feel like fixing up these pictures to post somewhere here. I originally planned to have a pictures page, but it got lost along the way. I'll see what I can do.

Mother Nature is a woman, and she's lonely, too

Yesterday was supposed to be a day off relaxing and playing my new game: Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast. But after I figured out that my three-year-old iMac (grape) is too slow to run it, I kinda threw in the towel. It's an awesome machine, as I've said before. I love my Mac, and I love the fact that it runs OS X so well. It just doesn't play games anymore. The game makers insist on make their programs more and more RAM and video intensive, and I am only able to upgrade one of the two. So, instead of buying a new computer for every new game that comes along, I am thinking more along the lines of a dedicated gaming machine like the GameCube or PlayStation. I know, it's the stuff of adolescence, but I love playing video games. It gives me an out for all of my frustrations. Blowing up animated objects or killing rasterized foes is so much better than killing real live people, don't you think?

So, after that shot my afternoon, J suggested that we go out for happy hour somewhere. OK, good idea. I showered, shaved, and took the last eleven dollars to my name and hit the streets. We ended up at the Badlands, as usual, where bottles of domestic beer are only $1.75 from I don't know when until 8 p.m. on Sundays. We walked in to find the front half of the crowd fixed on the Super Bowl. The Super what? Yeah. Who's playing? I got my Rolling Rock and headed to the back for some music. I go there to drink beer and watch music videos. I don't dance, and I don't cruise anymore. I just like the videos. I don't have cable at home, so I can't watch MTV to get the latest, and even these videos are better than what MTV plays. Anyway, at one point, there was a roar from the front half. Apparently Oakland scored a touchdown or something, and the crowd went wild. Two guys on the dance floor stopped dancing to see what happened, they figured it out, and started "raising the roof" with their hands. It was the most bizarre sight. I started giggling at the thought of these two dancing to Whitney and loving the Raiders' touchdown. OK.

And then...they played "Mad About You"!! Belinda Carlisle!! I freaked. You can't possibly know how much I love Belinda Carlisle. I almost started crying like a child when I saw her up on the monitors. That was so cool. Thank you for that.

We left the bar at 11 p.m., passed by Harvey's to see the drag show, and headed up to MUNI to go home. We got home at 12:30 a.m. I was lit. And now I am officially penniless until Friday. Boo hoo.

New Digs

New Digs

We moved upstairs last night...at work that is. Our one-room office had served us long enough, and we needed more space. We found a really nice corner office upstairs in the same building, and we took it. We all have a view, from everywhere except the breakroom. It's a huge change. The only trouble is with Covad (no link). They suck, that's why. I can't believe how many times I've tried to call them to make a change of service order and how many times they've fucked it up. I mean, really. How damn hard is it to give good customer service? I did customer service at a software call center for five years, and I know the stresses of the work, so don't tell me about it. Been there. Survived. I know what it takes, I know how to give it, and for those reasons, I know how to treat customer service people. I also know how to play them to get what I want and deserve as a paying customer. I'm not asking for the bank, I'm just asking for them to help me. Damn, that's just such a foreign idea nowadays.

Anyway, we won't have our Internet/network connection until tomorrow, and that only because I screamed loud enough at Covad...and they deserved it. They weren't going to guarantee any time or day because my change request "got lost in the queue" for some reason, and because of that they had to start the ticket all again. "Bullshit," I said. "I'm not paying for your mistake. You need to fix this. I have a company depending on this connection, and you promised me a day and time. Now you're saying that you can't make it? Because of your fault? And while you're at it, can you remind me why I'm paying you?"

We won't have phones or faxes until Friday sometime between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. But that's standard procedure when you're dealing with Telephonius Maximus (a.k.a. AT&T). They were quoting me fifteen business days...just to move some wires around. Fifteen. That's more than half the working month. Are they that understaffed? Can they really be that busy? But they were much kinder and managed to schedule for the 31st. I called them this morning after Covad to verify the appointment, and Yvonne was all "it's for 1/31/03. Is that right?" "Yes, that's perfect," I said. "Just had to be sure." At least that was easy.

Oh, and if you have to call for customer service, do it as early in the morning as possible. Some companies that have East Coast service are open as early as 6:00 a.m. on the West Coast. That's the time to call them...if you can get up that early in the morning. Not as much of a wait time, and usually good service...from my experience.

So, now I'm on the floor of our old office, using the wireless connection just to get e-mail and send this out. It's kinda fun so far. And I'm busy, which is always a plus.

That's all.

New Digs, Part II

New Digs, Part II

We're finally moved in, and we have our internet connection back. Yay. It's really nice to have so much room to move around in. We are no longer stepping on each other. The only thing now is that there is a break room that is in the middle of the office space. It has doors on either side, so you can walk in circles going in one door, walking the short hallway and going in the other door. I can tell already that this will be a source of confusion when trying to track someone down when they're moving as well. OK, it's sooo rough.

Looks like next week's a sure thing for driving down to Palo Alto again. I don't know why, but they need me to QA printed copy. What, like there aren't enough people who work for that company that they can get to do this crap? Eight hours a day, all week next week. I thought my time there was over, but oh, was I wrong.

I guess that's it. I could go on and on about this and that, but it's mostly the same story, different day, so never mind. Maybe later.