December 9, 2002
Happy Monday
The itsy bitsy spider
Crawled up the water spout
Down came my umbrella
And killed the bitch.
I've had enough of the wilderness thing. This isn't Walden, and it's not the Wild, Wild West anymore. And that's that. I took my broom yesterday and knocked down the web while the spider was out, and this morning it was partially restored. Ha. You think you can fuck with me? It was raining this morning, and so my umbrella took the web out for me this time. Don't mess with me, sweetie. At a couple of ounces, if that, you're clearly no match for a 210 pound (15 stone) human being, unless, of course, you want your innards and unborn children to be smeared all over the sidewalk, dear Charlotte, and then I can only be too happy to oblige.
I'm losing my mind more quickly now than before. I can't wait for this job to be over!
