May 18, 2002
???
I've been sulking a lot lately, and that's the real reason for my absence. Sulking and feeling sorry for myself...again. I haven't been paid in over a month and a half. For some reason, the CEO of this fledgling company, a Mr. Dick Head, doesn't feel the need to actually do the job that he was hired to do. So while there is plenty of money in the company's bank account, he would rather take a week off and go to Florida and forget to pay the people that put that money in his bank account. OK, great incentive there, Dick. And then, so when I ask as non-chalantly as I can when I can expect a paycheck, I get some vague answer like 'oh in a week or so when [Dick] gets back from Florida.' OK. And that's supposed to satisfy me. How do you run a business like that?
And the worst part is that I am now commuting 110 miles round trip, every day. I have an aging VW that still manages about thirty-three miles per gallon of gas. That's cool, but this commute means that I'll use more, right? Duh. And, hmmm, when I'm overdrawn and flat broke, how am I supposed to buy gas and pay the bridge tolls? Hmmm? So then, how am I supposed to get to work? "Take Caltrain." Fuck you asshole. Caltrain. If I can't afford gas, how the fuck am I supposed to afford the train? And dog forbid the car breaks down... *knock on wood*
And the second worst part is that I am [supposed to be] paid more than ever in my life. And that's a good thing. But now that I'm not even getting paid, all I can find in the job market of San Francisco is a clerk position for one-third of what I'm supposed to be making at the start-up. Twenty minute BART commute every day. Downtown San Francisco office. Cute guys everywhere. Enormous pay cut. Hmmm. Let me weigh this out. I'll have to get back to you on that one. I'm at a loss.
And that's where I've been. What have I learned from all of this? Mother knows best. We didn't have a lot right after my parents were divorced. My mother did amazing things on the little money she made. I learned then how to save a buck, and being half Scotch-Irish and a quarter Polish, you'd think I'd be good at saving money. But I'm not. And I should have listened fifteen years ago. But, even still, it's amazing what I've been able to do by not spending a dime. No cigarettes, no booze, no dolls, no chocolate (big fat bummer), no new music or DVDs. It sucks, but I'm still alive. I'm so losing interest in start-ups.
