May 7, 2002
Back to the Grindstone
I'm at R's place now, making edits to more documents. It's the first real work I've had in about three weeks. I am ashamed to say that I don't want to work anymore. I have gotten so used to sitting around, going where I want to go, not having any commitments or responsibilities, that now I'm almost resentful to have to work again. I know that sounds horrible. I have been so conditioned to work every day, and to be a hard worker every day, that all of this free time has made me a little weak. So I'm human, poke me I bleed. OK?
And then, he presents me with "phase two" of the NDA project for one of our clients. Phase two will be the compilation of the NDA, which is quite labor intensive. It's the end of the project and the last step before the thing is sent off to the FDA for review. During phase two, I'll be working at the client every single day, as if I were a full-time employee again. I'm not sure I'm ready for that (see previous paragraph).
On the other hand, I've been so bored and worried about my next paycheck and where it's coming from that I've been looking around for other work. It's not even that I'm no longer commited to the main project of our company, it's just that I'm bored. While I like to sit around and have no work to go to every day, I get restless after a while, and that while is now. I want to work again, and in my search, I've found what could be a great job at a non-profit in San Francisco. It's exactly my pace and style of work, although it would represent only a third of what I'm making now. And that sucks, but it would be full-time, and it would be a regular paycheck. Am I shooting myself in the foot? Yeah, I think so.
And how would I tell the whole gang that I'm leaving? I would feel like I would be abandoning ship and stiffing them with all of the work that I do. Because let's face it, I'm it. Jordan's leaving in July to go back east to finish his graduate school, and then there's me. So if I left, they would have no one capable of doing what I'm doing complete with all of the history of the work that I did at the pharma. While that's no reason to stay by itself, I think I would be making a mistake if I left now. I guess I just made up my mind.
All of the milage that my poor, old car will endure during the next six months will almost guarantee that I will have to buy the new Audi A4 Cabriolet when it comes out. I guess I could settle for that. It's bigger than the Miata, and a little more sophisticated than the VW Cabrio. And BMW is just to ostentatious for me anyway. I hope I can last that long.
