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I Know It's Old...

SatireWire | Australia Gets Drunk, Wakes Up in North Atlantic. "They broke Florida." I'm dying here.

Can't a Guy Take a Break Around Here?

OK, I've been read the riot act enough by a few people who know who they are and shall remain anonymous. I've been brooding for long enough. Was that the consenus? So, let me play a little catch up.

First of all, I'm still alive. Obviously. Duh.

Secondly, I am so in love with Clive Owen it's just pathetic. I saw Gosford Park with dear Ken this week, and I just died. It was so awesome. I loved it to tears. And I'm torn. To whom should go the Best Supporting Actress Oscar: Dame Maggie or Dear Helen? I don't even know who else is nominated, and this year I don't care. Julia won last year, and that's all that matters to me. I would like to see Nicole get it this time around, probably because Moulin Rouge gave me the best cry at the movies that I've had in years. And I do like her. But I've heard the rumour that Halle Berry is likely for that obscure movie that no one has heard of...well no one I know anyway.

But enough of that.

Thirdly, I'm still working and I'm very grateful. In San Francisco, where there are no jobs for people like me, I am SO very grateful. It sucks, and I'm bored of pleasing people in ways that don't involve nudity or intimate physical contact or even just the appearance of bodily fluids. But RJ has been gracious enough to PAY ME, and I'll just take it and run. Thanks for that.

Other than that, I'm not really doing anything. I have been working on my new/old laptop. In addition to my roomful of old, used computers, I now have a Dell Latitude Pentium II with Windows XP to play with. I have to say, it's quite fun. I don't mind this "clown-like" interface. I kinda like that big green Start button and the big, red X to close the windows. I love it even more because I can ditch that awful WinPoET and use the built in PPPoE connection from Windows XP...since Earthlink DSL doesn't believe in a truly "always on" connection. Whatever. Now I'm just being a geek. I can't wait to upgrade my Mac to OS X. That will be a challenge, and once I find some down time, I'll be up to it for sure.

That's all. And if, by chance, anyone caught a glimpse of something that wasn't normally Glittering, my mistake, I so sorry. I've been whupped for that one, too.

Poona Khan

I spent the weekend with Reuben, Wayne, and Phyllis. Saturday night, we had a soirée with some friends from Elan. We had a really good time eating, drinking, and just getting silly. I was really glad to see them again. We all had a good time. I drank way too much, but fortunately didn't pay for it on Sunday.

I always have vivid dreams when I don't sleep in my own bed. I had a dream that I was the chauffeur for the Charmed Ones. I was driving them around the City in their big, white BMW 7-series stretch limo. Piper kept freezing the traffic, and I remember getting angry with her for it. Oh, God, that's so enough. Never mind. Another reason to keep my dreams to myself.

Sunday, we went to the horse races at Golden Gate Fields. I had never been to a horse race before, and I had no idea what to expect. Reuben's friends gave him tickets to the Turf Club at their company's seats. R used to work with L, and they are still very good friends, and it shows. They have a great relationship. Anyway, whatever. The place was packed with people in all shades of green and none as glamorous as I anticipated. It was quite a show. I didn't bet on any of the races because I'm not a betting kind of guy. Besides, I had a better time watching the people around me. It's too bad that on a day like St. Patrick's Day, when everyone wears green, some people only have one article of clothing that's green, and it ends up being either a vest with green shamrocks all over it, or a really gaudy Hawaiian floral print. Sorry, but if that's all you have, don't bother, OK? But then again, as I said, it was food for my eyes.

WebEx

We started our training again today. Alice is no longer part of the training process, and they now have an independent contractor to do the training. I am only there to give the slide show introduction. It's ten minutes of sheer hell considering my lack of presentation skills, but it's so much better than it was before.

I skipped all of my speech classes and presentations because I hate speaking in front of a group. I know I said before that I can just throw my attitude around and make it work, but for some reason, I'm not feeling it today.

All the way, José

The second session went a little better. I had the time to actually prepare for the class. Imagine that. And I did what I should have done at the beginning which was to add notes to my PowerPoint slide show. It felt much more coherent even though it sounded canned. Fair trade off, IMHO.

And then there's José. Cute, cute, cute. I hate presenting to cute guys. Maybe it's that I like to remain the shy, silent type which is so self-effacing I just don't know what to do with myself. But it's true. In a way, I feel like I'm revealing more of myself than I want to or should. I'm too private of a person, I guess. How does one become out-going and secure as opposed to introverted and insecure? I would love to know.

Ho hum

Not much going on today. We spent the morning discussing the new software's look, feel, and function. It is really interesting to be part of this process from beginning to end. We have a functioning demo right now, and we're evaluating it so we can improve upon it. It's exciting, and I'm starting to get a little anxious to use it. I have felt for a long time that I'm just sitting around doing the consulting work here and there, and not much else is happening. Now that I see what is going on, it re-enforces my pride in choosing this new venture over a retention package in May.

That's it. There's a new episode of my witches tonight. That's something that I personally look forward to. And last night after Enterprise, they showed a preview of next week's episode, and damn it all if they haven't brought back, or introduced depending on your point of view, the damn Ferengis. How cheap.

Whatever.

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This is what you get when you don't have anything better to type in your web browser's address bar.

The place, where nobody dared to go....

Today sucked for the most part. I spent all day at the client in Palo Alto. It took me two and a half hours to make a 45 minute commute. At 10 a.m., the Bay Bridge was still backed up through the maze. I turned on the radio to get a traffic report only to hear that it was raining and the roads were slick. OK, like it never rains in Northern California? And no one in Northern California has ever driven in the rain before? So what's the big deal?

Then, after I get there, I spend two more hours listening to our fearless leader extoll the virtues of self-management and how he believes that no one is hired who cannot do the work. "I do not wear my title." "I am not averse to getting my hands dirty." Well said, bossman, just let us all go. I've got a sick headache again. But it's not over. He wants to discuss other matters, but Dear Alice pulls him aside for another hour, and I'm stuck waiting in his office doing nothing. I don't know why it didn't occur to him to finish my business in the fifteen minutes that I needed, let me go home, and get back to Alice who would be there for the rest of the day anyway. Is that too selfish of me?

So, then, I'm on the San Mateo Bridge coming home because I just know that the Bay Bridge would be a disaster. Turned out to be a pretty even split. One guy almost ran into me because apparently, even in my Golf, I was not a big enough moving object to be a concern of his. And then I get to witness a real accident on 580, about a mile from my exit. Three cars slam into each other and the middle car gets crumpled like the proverbial accordian. Of course, the rest of the traffic comes to a screeching halt so all of the curious humans can stop and look at someone else's tragedy.

But all things were made happy again when I got home and walked in to find a new DVD waiting for me. I finally got my copy of Xanadu. Yes, that cheesy 80s flick with my all-time favorite singer, Olivia Newton-John. I was so happy to see it that I immediately tore the box open and popped it in, just to watch a few minutes of it before we left for dinner. It reminded me of watching the movie over and over again on HBO when I was a pre-teen in Iowa. I love this movie. But not as much as Grease which I can't wait to be released on DVD. Or is it already? And then of course there's always Twist of Fate. :) I don't know. Anyway, it was just as campy as I remembered it, complete with color co-ordinated leg warmers and high heels. What a deal. And of course I sang to every song in the movie. I loved it.

That's all.

A new day

Yes, I now have Celine Dion's new album. I'm so happy. She looks awesome, and she sounds beautiful as always. I can't wait for her next French album. Those are always better than the English ones. But Cher's latest still kicks ass above and beyond anyone else. And in a couple of weeks, Sheryl Crow will have a new album out as well. I'm in heaven. And I can't wait for Caesar's Palace to be ready with Celine's new amphitheatre. Oh. My. God. I am so there. I've never seen her live before, and now I will be able to see her whenever I want, only an hour and a half away (by plane, or nine hours in the car)...for three years! Who said the world's going to hell?

In addition, I'm trying out Sarah Brightman's Eden. I saw a special on KQED about Sarah's live concert somewhere, sometime ago. I had never heard her sing before, and I was interested in hearing more. I haven't listened to it yet, but it's in the queue.

Yesterday was a big day for me at Virgin. In addition to Celine and Sarah, I got the first season of Buffy on DVD (love that) as well as the second season of Sex and the City. I think it's in the second season that we meet dreamy Aiden, right? Anyway, Miranda's a big bitch, stuck up and over-bearing, but I love Charlotte. I want to be her. Gorgeous, single, then married to cute Trey or whatever his WASP name was who couldn't get it up, and then divorced and rich! That's the way to do it.

That's all. I could go on to tell you about my forty-five-minute haircut at Teddy's—and shit, I forgot to get his card again—and how he has been vandalized enough times to warrant installing surveillance cameras in his shop so he can "see the zit on the nose of the mother fucker who's doing this" to him. "And not that green shit they have at the banks, either." I think he meant the camera resolution of bank cameras and not the money they keep at banks. Who knows. It's always a treat to see him. He has a TV in his shop to keep the waiting customers (or himself) entertained. Yesterday he was showing Animal Planet and pigs having piglets. How charming.

After that, I could go on to tell you about designing corporate logos with Desi for three hours. But that's just not as much fun as it sounds, so I won't.

OK.

Been there, done that, didn't work.

S.F. wants to teach aggressive motorists how to deflate stress before it becomes road rage.

The End of an Era

Queen Mother dies.