September 26, 2001
Some men say...
Some men say that they can never figure what a woman is thinking. From my experience, I can't figure out what men are thinking.
This morning on BART, I sat down on the side seats across from a nicely dressed man who was probably in his mid-40s. He was attractive with pretty brown eyes. Tailored suit, good shoes, nice briefcase. Orinda? Walnut Creek? Didn't matter. He caught my eyes looking him over and I kinda got the impression that my interest was objectionable. I looked again, and there on his left ring finger was that little something special that tells me no. So I went on listening to Sheryl Crow, and throughout the rest of the ride, as I glanced around the train my eyes naturally fell forward, and they met his. I glanced away each time.
I have only lived in the Bay Area for about three years, and in this time, I have never been able to figure out what kind of politics some people have. I will never take it for granted that the people that live in this area are liberally-minded or even gay-friendly. So, when I see a guy who I think is attractive, no matter where I am, I have to be careful not to give unwanted attention to someone who won't appreciate it.
We reached Civic Center, and he got up to leave. On his way out the doors, he turned around to look at me again. I'm thinking, yeah, he's sizing me up, telling me not to f*ck with him. His stern face seemed to convey a kind of warning. All right, whatever. For the sake of being a shit since he was going to be so forward with his gaze, I watched him walk up the platform, and he turned around again with the same look on his face. This time, I screwed up my face as if to say "whatever, moron," but then I saw a quirky kind of smile in return. Then it occurred to me that he was interested or at least cruising me as badly as I was cruising his Kenneth Coles.
As the train departed through the station, the train passed him as he continued down the platform. I looked out the window to see him smiling at me and to see him throw a little wave in my direction. What?
So, what's my point? I don't know how to judge people. I don't know how to size 'em up. I know how to cruise. What gay man doesn't? But sometimes it's not as obvious as it could be. And I'm left to think about it, and blog it all.
Whatever.
